I have been trying to recollect my thoughts and feelings ever since I got the news last Friday that my dear friend +Ray has slipped away peacefully to his final resting place. I knew he had fallen but never for a second did I expect this. The memories come flooding back, both the good and the not so good.
I remember when we heard the news that the rumour about Bishop Roussin coming to Vancouver was indeed true. I was delighted because I knew him a little. Never did I imagine where that beginning would take us. The installation and welcome to the Archdiocese was a wonderful occasion. It was then Msgr. Jensen who was the Administrator of HRC who welcomed our newest Shepherd to the door and into hisCathedral. It was so crowded, people spilling out into the street, others heading to the Hyatt to watch close circuit video, everyone wanting to see and to meet the new Archbishop. It was my honour to welcome him first as the formalities of bringing greetings took place - I remember being moved by his humible and unassuming reaction to all the people. It seems in some ways like yesterday!
He got to work quickly, making appointments, bringing a new managements tule to the office and it seemed that all was well. I remember the day, June 6, when upon being invited to his home, +Ray told me he was going to appoint me Vice-chancellor. I was surprised, honoured and am grateful to this day for the opportunities that have come to me because of that. Being a part of his new team and knowing how much he valued the feminine perspective brought a new dimension to our archdiocese. He was a wise and kind leader in his own quiet way. +Ray proved to me, yet again, that there are many ways to bring people to Christ.
Plus, he was very funny and loved to tease. He was at home with all of us bringing joy and goodness to everything he touched. I remember how he loved to cook and was proud to have us over. He was down to earth and not only for me did he feel like family, he made us feel the same.
However, things never stay the same, and as time went on, he had his share of challenges. I was privileged to walk the hard journey with him as a friend. When his health began to deteriorate and the depression returned, I was there to listen visit and take him where he needed to go. I watched him go through the discernment on whether or not to tell people and admired him even more when he did. He did not believe the positive impact that had on so many. He never thought of himself as having any particular influence on anyone. I could not believe and told him often but he said he was just doing what God asked him to do. And that, is the very heart of +Ray . His motto says it all.....
I have all the letters we exchanged when he was away for what seemed to him a time of trial or exile. His faith though did not seem to waiver, although it puzzled him!
He was so good all the time - I asked him more than once why he wouldn't get angry, he had enough reasons at times, but he would laugh at me in that quiet way and say He didn't know how. I offered to give him lessons but to no avail.
As the health issues increased and appointments and tests became a common thing, it was clear that he was not getting better. When he told me he had Parkinson's, we just sat in the car and cried. But not for long, as he once again tried to carry on. It was a unique and precious time.
When the news that we were getting a Co-adjust or reached us, you could see and feel the relief. When our now Archbishop Michael arrived, the warmth and genuine affection was clear. At archbishop Miller's Welcome Mass, this is what +Ray said:
It was the time of celebration too for the 100th anniversary with events all year long. +Ray played an integral part in the Declaration on the Synod. "Let us Act" were his words and indeed we did.
He was able to celebrate with his flock and loved every bit of it. He will be remembered with love for his goodness, courage and humour. I saw him several times after he moved to Winnipeg but it was obvious his health was deteriorating but he still had the sense of humour and could tease me just like he always did. I learned so much from him. How to be kind in the face of adversity, to be brave when it was necessary, to believe in your friends when they tell you something good about yourself and to laugh because God wants us to be happy. I learned the importance of giving someone a chance and how to look until I find the goodness that is in everyone. This is not a sad reflection. It is a testimony to the indomitable spirit and reflections of Christ's love I found in +Ray who I called my friend. Can you imagine his homecoming and the welcome he has received from His Lord? At last.
